41. Catholic: I hate England - it's cold and wet and full of Protestants.
Protestant: Why don't you go to hell - it's hot and dry and full of Catholics

42. Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air.
Woman: Go hang yourself

43. Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing.
Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

44. Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

45. The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!"
"What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

46. A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me."
One kid answered "He married my mother."

47. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

48. Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It's Rs 1000.
Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

49. Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear."
The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

50. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor?
A. A jeweler sells watches whereas a jailor watches cells!