71. An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

72. While filling out an employment application, Santa paused over the question, "Person to notify in case of an accident."
After some thought, he finally wrote, "Anybody in sight"

73. Santa is driving down a road and sees a sign that says, "Watch for Fallen Rocks."
A few kilometres later, he sees some rocks at the side of the road, so he stops and picks them up.
When he gets to the next town, he carries the rocks into the Highway Maintenance office and puts them on the counter.
"Here are your fallen rocks," he says to the man behind the counter. "Now where is my watch?"

74. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me
Doctor: Next please

75. Titanic is going to be drowned. Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God, just then a passenger asked the captain of the ship.
Passenger: How far is land, from here?
Captain: Two miles...
Passenger: Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Captain: .....????
Passenger: Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here ?
Captain: Downwards...

76. A man walks into a scientist's lab looking to buy a new brain. He asks the scientist how much the brains cost. The scientist says, "Well first we have a normal human brain, it costs $1000, next we have a scientist's brain, it costs $5000, and then we come to a politician's, it costs $10,000."
"How come the politician's brain costs so much?", asks the man.
The scientist replies, "Because it's never been used."

77. How did Santa cheat the railways?
A. He bought the ticket and didn't travel

78. Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A. Because they advertised 'free delivery'

79. What has 4 wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck

80. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Do you believe in people?"